Fighting the Unseen: Life With Diabetes

I do not have diabetes.  I do not know the sting of a needle to keep my blood sugars level.  I do not know the stigma of growing up learning how to become a woman and how to deal with a difficult disease.  Diabetes does not have a direct impact on my life. 

Although diabetes has no control over me, physically, I do feel the tugs at my heart emotionally.  My sister has T1D.  She has had this disease since she was fourteen years old.  I was about to graduate high school when she found out.  I remember we used to go school shopping for clothes and the time she tried on a size zero pair of shorts and even those were too big for her.  I felt, that at the time, I was a pretty fit person and my clothing was comfortable at a size four.  To see my sister waste away with no real cause was really troublesome.  She used to carry around a jug of water with her everywhere she went.  She was always thirsty, still eating, and getting skinnier by the week. 

I was partly relieved when my parents found out she was diabetic.  Some might think that as a sibling I might have been jealous of her small size... as teenage girls do tend to compare their bodies... but I wasn't.  I truly worried she was getting too thin, too fast, and obviously still eating regularly.  It was a relief to know that she wasn't going to die by starvation and that T1D could be dealt with.

It took my sister a while to get used to the medications.  The levels were always off.  Her meters wouldn't always be correct.  She would have some emotional difficulties, as a young teenager, that would throw her levels out of whack.  Life is tremendously challenging for any adolescent.  Add in the fact that if she doesn't get her blood levels under control, she could go into a coma or die.  That must've been a very frightening thought.

I have to admit I don't know as much about T1D as I should.  I have just recently learned how to really communicate with my sister.  Eleven years later, after her initial diagnosis, and we can finally find a reason to relate.  She doesn't seem to see me as the "unaffected one who doesn't understand" anymore.  I'm learning to realize that while she may put off the sense that she's got diabetes under control, that she really does need support.  She needs to know I worry about her.  I want to know how her doctor appointments go and if things are improving.  I want to know more about T1D.  I feel, as her sister, I do owe that to her. 

I strive to continue in my journey to show my sister my support and love for her.  I don't want to always talk about her disease because that is not all she is.  She is a loving, sweet, thoughtful, beautiful person inside and out.  I would rather talk about those things, but sometimes we do need to speak of  the major part of her life, T1D.  It is no longer a skeleton in our closet.  It's a part of both of our lives because diabetes does affect me.

I've only just recently started to notice how my diabetes affects the rest of my family and my loved ones.  It seems like such a self-involved disease because every single thing is so critical to what happens to my body.  Sometimes I forget, though, how much me getting hurt actually hurts other people.

My dad told me the other day that he was completely broken up the last time he saw me go into the hospital.  The doctors didn't think I was going to survive my sudden bout of DKa and my dad was broken up about it.  I remember the look on his face- the fear yet warmth that came over him every time I opened my eyes.  I was so tired and so thirsty, but he sat there for hours- just watching me sleep while on the Emergency Room gurney.

It's hard to see outside myself because it's so chronic to me- so intimate.  But, yes, I definitely believe that the people who are closest to me have a form of diabetes as well.

it only started to affect mine recently.with other health problems stemming from t1d.my nonna was actually there from day one,she was there when i had to take my 1st shot.after 14 or so years now my mom gets worried & they both think i'm dead because i have hypersomnia/narcolepsy,meaning sleeping 2 days straight is normal for me.so ifthey dont hear from me i'm presumed dead or something equally bad.

Wow.  How can you sleep two days straight and be Type 1 at the same time?  How do you do your basals and stuff?  That must be really tough.  Something you can handle or do you feel overwhelmed sometimes?

my body must slow down to a halt while i'm sleeping,because i somehow survive..i wish i could figure out how i survive those mini hibernation's.when i stay up for days due to insomnia my blood sugar goes to hell.i seem to forget how long ive been up so i forget my humilin & end up using alot of humalog.from what ive read my best diagnosis with all symptoms considered is k.l.s,, when i wrote a dr about it the idea seemed to be mutual.kls usually is onset from a traumatic mental or physical event(t1d diagnosis?) but is supposed to fade with time,but the events keep coming,developing ptsd from a few.so maybe thats the reason.when it comes down to it,its just confusing.

well i only get overwhelmed when i really think about whats going on,so ive developed a train of thought that keeps that stuff at bay.the more i worry that really throws my levels up there...i guess in essence what i do is a avoidance of reality but i have to or i'll lose my mind with everything that goes on.a partial disconnect helps but in the long-term i'm not to sure of the consequences.

when i used to take life head-on & face everything that came  my way i was doing more harm than good.slowing down & handling a few things seems healthier.

Wow.  you should meet my friend.  He calls me "delusional" all the time.  haha.  I hope things get figured out for you... or at least better.